I just spent the last two hours watching videos on youtube. Videos of photoshop transformations where a really plain or even ugly girl or woman is made into something she clearly is not. Flawless skin, intense sparkling eyes, perfectly shaped body. Videos of models, really skinny models. Videos titled “Real Women” where they were all just fat. And before anyone starts to freak out that I just called the “real women” fat, keep it in for a minute. No, there is nothing wrong with touching up people on photoshop, especially celebrities because there are so many magazines and websites rushing to tell everyone how they really look. Everyone these days knows that hollywood “beauty” is all fake. There are so many models out there who are ridiculously skinny, and yeah some people think it looks good. Yes, there are many models out there, plus sized models, who are big and yeah some people think it looks good. But you know what? It’s not right. I think they are all ugly. Even if someone is the nicest person in the world, has a great personality, a beautiful face. It doesn’t matter, because if they are super skinny, or fat, I will undoubtedly judge them a little bit on that. Sure people can judge me all they want for saying that. But I don’t care. Because in my opinion being really skinny is UNHEALTHY and being fat is UNHEALTHY. Face the facts. Most of these people are doing nothing about it. Nothing to make themselves healthy. I don’t care if they have a “disease”. In my mind, anorexia or bulimia is NOT a “disease”. Do you know what the definition of disease is?

Being retarded and starving yourself because you think you look fat is NOT a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part , structure, or system of the body. NO IT’S NOT. It’s because you are retarded and think that for some reason you need to resemble a fucking hat rack. There is nothing wrong with your brain, nothing malfunctioning in your brain telling you that you should not eat. It’s your conscious. Same with people who are fat. Don’t go and blame it on genetics, don’t go and blame it on some sort of “condition” that you have. It’s your fault. You can see yourself. You KNOW that it’s not healthy, yet most overweight people do nothing to try and help themselves. Sure, you can feel completely confidant in how you look and that’s great. But this isn’t about liking your body. This is about being healthy. And if you LIKE your body, shouldn’t you want to do whatever you can to keep it alive for as long as you can? It boggles my mind. If you’re overweight and you are doing something about it, that is GREAT! I won’t judge you as much. But if you are a hat rack or a whale and you are doing nothing about it, don’t fucking complain when you want to commit suicide. Yes, this is harsh. Exercise. Eat properly. Seriously people, it’s not hard. “ohh I don’t have the time…” MAKE THE FUCKING TIME! Do it! Don’t be a lazy piece of shit and get off your ass and exercise. And MAKE the effort to eat properly. It’s not hard. You know how? All you have to do is NOT BUY BAD FOOD. Only buy good stuff! Then you have nothing else to eat and maybe you’ll eat the good food. Jesus christ, I consider myself a healthy eater. I am not overweight, nor am I a hat rack. But when I eat out I feel SO BAD afterwards because I know how much bad stuff was in the food I just ate. I don’t not eat later on to make it up. I just exercise a bit more.

Anyways, I am way off track now. Fat women are NOT real women. Real women are healthy. And take care of themselves.

♥ Taro   (why don’t the stupid hearts work anymore..)

We are horrible bloggers. Horrible. What a pittiful blog. There is nothing here to read! Sure we get views on our (sorry, I should say MY) posts but you know….we (I) should write more!

Well. Here’s what has gone down in my life. I was told I was removed from my program at college but when I called to get my money back the lady on the phone told me I was confirmed and should be attending classes. I am currently working on getting my money back. I got laid off at work.  I don’t want to be a pastry chef anymore. I feel lost with life a little bit. I kissed Kevo. Many times. Many places. I found a program I am really interested in and want to apply for. Au pairing. In the USA though, not somewhere interesting yet. Maybe next time. I just want to try it out first before going anywhere really far away from home. I have an interview this Sunday in Toronto for it. I am still trying to get my references. I am starting a new blog about my journey. If I don’t get accepted to the program then I will delete the blog.

♥ Taro Bear

(First, I should note that this blog should be changed to just tart.wordpress.com and the title should just be Taro. Take out the Kevin! He doesn’t do anything anyways :P)

So this weekend I got to go somewhere I’ve wanted to for a long long long time. I got to go the the Roger’s Cup and watch tennis! I was so happy. Although it did rain, twice, it was still awesome. We were hoping that we would either see Nadal or Federer play, but when Federer was beat by Gilles Simon that plan was sort of wrecked. We ended up watching some of a doubles game and all of the singles game, Gilles Simon (a little bit hot, mostly his body) and Nicolas Kiefer (who is also somewhat hot). I was hot too. From the heat, that is. I got burnt and it hurts but oh well. I had fun. I also ended up buying $5 popcorn and water for $3.38. How ridiculous. But I was really thirsty. And I just like popcorn. A lot.

THEN, get this, THEN after tennis we got a BANANA SPLIT from Marble Slab. Yum Yum Yum! I enjoyed it very much

There were also many other parts of the weekend that were awesome. Basically who I was with was awesome in itself. So whatever! A great weekend for me. I liked it.

♥ Taro

There’s a place I know in Ontario where the sea lions kiss, so the story goes…

I have never liked Marine Land. I went there once when I was a kid and apparently I cried the whole time because I didn’t want to see the whales in aquariums, I wanted to see them in the ocean. With a new commercial every few years and running every single summer, we are reminded that everyone loves Marine Land, or everyone loves the belugas, or everyone loves a holiday. And every time I see the part in the commercial where the whale comes out of the water and “kisses” the trainer I keep hoping that one day the commercial will magically change and the whale will try to eat her. “Take that! That’s for locking me up in an aquarium one thousandth the size of my natural habitat! I bet not everyone loves Belugas now!” is exactly what the whale would be thinking. I don’t really know enough about the animals there to make an opinion on whether or not they are unhappy. Of course PETA people would say the whales and everything are horribly treated and living in small confined areas is not good for them, and the people who work at the aquariums are going to say they are treated perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with where they live. The only people who REALLY know are probably some sort of marine biologist who specializes in those types of animals. I like whales. I like dolphins and seals and whatnot, but I think I would rather see them in their natural habitat rather than being used as entertainment for paying customers. I don’t plan on ever going back to Marine Land. Nor will I take my kids there. If they want to see whales, we will go on a whale watching trip. Even though I am scared that they will tip the boat…

♥Taro

So there’s this new tv show on, and it’s called America’s Greatest Dog. I don’t know how they did the casting for that show, but none of those dogs or their owners are anything spectacular. Ya, I watched the first episode, and cringed the whole way through it. But I couldn’t change the channel because I felt bad for the dogs. Most of the dogs had some sort of clothing on. Why. Why put clothing on your dog? Especially when the dog obviously isn’t enjoying it as much as you are. And the handling of these dogs is ridiculous. You can tell 9/10 dogs are not “fully” trained, a.k.a. don’t come when called or listen to their owner at all. During the final test thing or whatever it was, one lady even physically corrected her dog. On national television. Uhhh, please come join us in the 21st century here, it’s all about REWARD training not PUNISHMENT training. And she didn’t even get kicked off. It was a guy who obviously had a way better relationship with his dog than that dumb bitch. Basically all I am saying is that the show SUCKS. I feel bad for the dogs. I think there is one pair that I don’t mind. And it’s an old man and his dog. A normal relationship and the dog listens to him. Oh and don’t even get me started on the LAME host, LAME competitions, LAME ideas and all the pre-recorded things the host does. Don’t watch it.

♥ Taro

(my dog!)

There were some left over egg whites in the fridge from when I made a cake for work, and my mom had just asked me to do something with them while her and my dad went golfing. “Make a sponge cake or something” she says. So I start hunting for a good sponge cake recipe. And of course I can’t find any, and I lost the one I used to use all the time. It was absolutely perfect and such a shame I can not find it anymore. Anyways, I settle on a recipe I find, and the only review it has is 1 out of 5. (I didn’t even notice this until the cake was in the oven.) It calls for 12 egg whites and 8 or 9 egg yolks. I only have 4 egg whites in the fridge, and I know there are only a few more eggs in the fridge, so I only use 4 eggs, making in total 8 egg whites and 4 egg yolks. I follow the recipe and while doing so, decide I don’t want a boring old plain favoured cake. So into the egg white mixture I add some coconut. And in the egg yolk mixture I beat in some lemon juice. And before putting the batter in the pan, I put some raspberries on the bottom. I spoon in the batter, and sink a few more raspberries into that. I put it in the oven and wait. In the meantime, I decide that the lemon flavour probably won’t be strong enough. I only want a light flavour of lemon though, but I only put a small amount of lemon juice in the batter itself. So I decide to make a syrup to brush over the cake when it comes out of the oven. I throw some sugar, lemon juice, and raspberries in a pot and put it on the stove over medium heat. Let it come to a gentle simmer, and then strain out the raspberries and the seeds. Leaving only the most beautiful light pink coloured syrup I have ever seen. I not only want the lemon and subtle raspberry flavour to soak into the cake, but I also want that beautiful colour. It’s so pretty!

I sit around, playing solitaire, petting the dog, painting my nails while waiting for the cake to be done. I can smell it, and good god does it smell good. I can only hope that it tastes as good as it smells. What I do know though is that the syrup tastes really, really, amazingly good. And I am proud of myself for not using a recipe to make it! haha.

So the cake finally comes out of the oven, and of course I have to wait a little bit longer for it to cool a bit. I give it half an hour, I can’t wait any longer. And I turn the cake out of the pan. It looks good. Didn’t sink like the person who reviewed the recipe said. The raspberries on the top look pretty. I cut myself a piece (of course! who else would try it to make sure it doesn’t taste like crap before I feed it to my family.) and put some of the lemon/raspberry sauce on top. Sprinkle it with a bit of icing sugar, and dig in. The texture is good. The cake itself is lacking flavour (maybe coconut extract next time and omit the lemon? yum!) but with the raspberries and coconut inside as well as the syrup on top, overall the cake is pretty damn good.

♥Taro

False. If there is one thing in the world that I can’t do, it’s math. Even simple stuff. Giving me a math problem is like giving a fish the command to fly. (I am not including flying fish here. And besides, the longest a flying fish has ever gone was about 30 seconds. Not long enough to be considered flying in my books). I thought I was done with math when I took data management in grade 12. I have not done any type of math for the last two years and now I am expected to remember enough to pass a test. I can only answer 5 of the 24 sample questions. Am I in trouble here? You betcha! It’s a vicious cylcle I tell you. I see the questions, try to do them, realize I am not getting the right answer, get frustrated, move on to the next question, repeat. The hours of frustration that has been brought upon me because of math is countless. I always did super well in school, except for math. High 80’s and 90’s in everything else, and then you look at my math mark. 50%. Grade 9: 50%. Grade 10: 32%. Grade 11: 52%. Grade 12: 68%. And you better believe I was ridiculously proud of that 68% in grade 12. I had the same teacher for grades 9 and 10. He was not the greatest. Didn’t really teach you much, just put an example on the board and expected you to understand and be able to apply it to other questions. If you asked for help on your exam he pretty much did the question for you. I believe he gave me a 50 in grade 9 because he thought I was trying. By grade 10 he knew I just didn’t give a shit and failed me, gave me the mark I deserved. In grade 11 I had a very nice math teacher. She tried really hard to helpme to understand what I was doing, and I thought I did. But apparently not. She did know I was trying my hardest, so she passed me with a 52. I love her for it. In grade 12 I took the easiest math course available. Data management. I liked that class because with that kind of math, you can actually apply it to real life in some situations. Anyways, I am just rambling about math now, obviously procrastinating from doing my math work. I do not plan on finishing it. My test is in 3 days. Greeeeaaaaaaaat! Now I’m going to get put in a foundations course, and then have to take a normal level math course after that. How embarassing that I don’t function with math at the normal college/university level. I asked my friend Lawrence for help with my math. He wears those red suspenders on mondays, makes me laugh. When I asked the question he responded by throwing a large pitcher of tang at my head. Not the normal stuff either, the good kind with added vitamin C. That is his way of saying “no dice.”

♥Taro

The love God has for you is greater than any kind of love you’ve ever experienced. God’s love for you is unconditional and ever lasting for God even loves your weaknesses. God created you and you have a special place in your heart that only god has the key to. God thinks fondly of you EVERYDAY, EVERY MOMENT. You do not need any other kind of love. God’s love for you is enough. God’s love is greater than your love for your child or the love your parents have for you. Experience God’s love for you through the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s all in the scripture. Read it.

Kevin

*Some restrictions may apply to homosexuals, atheists, non-Christians, people who aren’t baptized, drug addicts, teenage mothers, members of the community who practice anal sex, people who have sex in general, women in revealing outfits, women in bikini, MTV viewers, Tom Hanks, Dan Brown (Satan), anyone who’ve read or seen the Da Vinci Code and everyone who’s having fun in life.

I have no idea how to deal with stress and frustration. No idea. And I am so full of both. From so many things I can’t even pin point what it is that is making me so flustered right now. Work, school, living arrangements, tests, deadlines, money. I really do not like it at all. One tiny bit. And most of it is stuff I can’t control, and others I can. Which is why it bothers me even more. Because then I am thinking to myself “why am I not dealing with this.” and then I get even more stressed and frustrated because I don’t know how to deal with it. And I cry. ” I read something that said that the way a person reacts to stress, and how they treat others and themselves during a stressful time is incredibly important to their well-being, their happiness, and to how others perceive them. if you turn to destructive activities when you are confronted with stress, then it is wise to examine that response and to try to transform your reaction into something more constructive. But I don’t quite know what this means. Or how it can help me. I am so lost. I just want to hide away at a nice place for 5 months. Yes, that’s right. I want to run away from my troubles instead of deal with them. Big deal.

♥ Taro

For the first time in my life today I had an “accident” that actually required medical care. I almost cut my Achilles tendon. It was horrible. It happened so fast, I was picking up a chair, then all of a sudden I felt the burning pain and the warm blood run down my foot, soaking my sock. That particular sock, a fresh new white one, now looked as if it had been red all along. My shoe was caught under the ramp and I was sort of stuck, but trying to pull it out just made the blood pump out faster. Somebody finally lifted it up so I was free. Tears in my eyes, I hobbled to the bathroom. Followed by Jeannette with the first-aid kit, cursing how the ramp should not have been there in the first place and it was only a matter of time that someone got hurt. And of course it was me. (Things like that always happen to me. I don’t think I’m clumsy though, I just happen to have a bit of bad luck.)

I sit down on the step outside the bathroom, and I get a thick gauze padding put over my laceration, wrapped up to stay in place while I wait for medical care. Jeannette drives me to the Urgent Care Centre, fills out all the papers for me, asks if I’m okay, and tells me to call when I am done. I sit down in the waiting room, my stomach twisting and turning, growling at me. It’s lunchtime, but I don’t get to eat.

Please No Food Or Drink In The Waiting Room!

I sit there, observing the others around me. There’s an old man, waiting for some medication, a lady with a baby who has a cough, and two beautiful guys from Ireland. Thick accents, hard to understand, but they are incredibly interesting to listen to. An hour goes by, and they finally call my name. I hobble through the door and into the hallway and into the examination room I am pointed towards. The nurse sits with me and asks me some questions. I can barely understand her accent, I can’t figure out what it is though. She leaves the room and the doctor comes in, about 10 minutes later. He asks me to lay on the table, face down so he can see the wound better. He cleans it, it stings. He tells me that I might be lucky and not need stitches, but then he cleans it and notices I got cut through every single skin layer, and if it had gone any further I would have cut my Achilles tendon. I’m a lucky girl. So I definitely need stitches. I cringe at the thought but realize the pain of that would probably be less than having the cut open slightly every time I take a step. During all this, it is still bleeding. The doctor tries to keep it as clean as possible, injects me with the stuff that freezes you. That was probably the most painful part of the whole experience, I can feel it, every time he injects that needle directly into the wound. Stinging, a hot/cold sensation I can’t even describe unless you were to feel it yourself. Just, weird. Painful. After that, he sews me up. I could still kind of feel the needle going in and out, but not a painful way.

The best part of all of this is that my workplace is making me pay $20 to get a doctor’s note for why I won’t be at work tomorrow, and possibly a day or two after as well. I hope I get it back. I know I do get vacation pay for being off, though…so that’s good.

It hurts.

♥Taro

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